Welcome fellow interstellar adventurer -ur. Tell me, are you getting enough oxygen?

Actually Space Ghost, this is my phantom cruiser. You lost yours when you lost your show and couldn't make the payments, so shouldn't I be asking you that?

Well, uh. Err.

Space Ghost?

Yes.

Are you getting enough oxygen?

There's a slight problem with that spacecowboy76.

Please, just call me Space.

Yes. Um. Space. You see, I don't know if I'm getting enough oxygen. I'm a cartoon, I don't actually breathe.

Like a pair of polyester slacks!

I guess that would be problem now wouldn't it.

Moltar, can we start this over.

No.

Okay then, can we go to a commercial break.

No.

Alrighty then.

yyyzing-zing. yyyzing-zing.

Perhaps you should ask me some questions.

Space Ghost will you get off the malt and just do your job.

Ok, Space - if that is what they call you - this is a supremo space cruiser you have here. How do you fuel it?

The ship? It pretty much runs itself. I just keep shovelling crap into the quantum-flux capacitor and it remains in orbit.

And yes - that is what they call me - my parents were big flaming hippies back during the moon landings and thought it would be far out to have a kid named Space. I admit, it's kind of groovy, but no one ever believes me when I say it, so every now and then the name Spencer crops up. Spencer is my made up name. Space is my actual name.

Great! That makes two of us! I'm also named Space, you know. And my parents were also great big flaming hippies.

Confidentially though, you draw a lot. A lot of, of very big voluptuous, hootery, zaftig, sexy -

Hootery - is that even a word?

Don't make me blast you Zorak.

GAHaaaaack!

(Reholsters laser blaster) I always shoot first. Just ask Greedo. Now you were saying something about sexy....

Actually I was thinking sexist.

Ew. Well, I could see where people might think that, but it's never been my intention. Sexism - to me - involves glass ceilings, forced behavior, strict social roles. The Islamic Birka is about as sexist as it gets and it barely shows the eyes, but the point is that the women in those societies have no choice but to wear them. I don't think anyone has ever been forced to wear a chainmail bikini - those things aren't sexist just sexy. I guess it's a matter of choice and who gets to do the choosing.

But what about drawing women's bodies with absolutely unreal proportions?

Come on Space Ghost. I'm not that bad. I'm not drawing trucker porn with women's breasts bouncing on their kneecaps. And I'm not doing Cosmo work either with "the woman you want to be" having a waist as thin as a pixie stick.

When I draw a scantily clad woman, I'm not trying to tell the world what I expect from it. I am simply drawing for the effect. I remember reading somewhere that "Art is the communication of an idea from one mind to another" - and that is total bullshit. I mean, it's great if you can pull it off, but ultimately the communication of ideas is why we have words. Art is about creating an impact, of whipping together color and values and perspective and psychological triggers in order to set the viewer's brain on fire. It's all about effect. There are rarely are there any great ideas involved whatsoever.

yyyzing-zing. yyyzing-zing.

(Enjoys the silence a bit)

yyyzing-zing. yyyzing-zing.

Okay. There is also the matter of the medium. Think of painting flowers. The rose is a fascinating plant all through the course of its life, but when all you can do is snap a picture of it, you might as well catch it in full bloom. That's kinda what I do. I draw pictures of people in full bloom, more women than men because women are more fun to look at.

Wow, that's deep. Cough. Cugh. (passes skull bong to Zorak)

Chuuuuuurrrrr. Chuuuuuuurrrr. Haccccc. Hey, Space Cowboy want a hit off this? Moltar grows it in his hydroponic dumpster.

Hmm. Tempting, but no. I don't do drugs.

Never?

Absolutely Never!?

Well, I can't say absolutely never, I did go to Woodstock '94 afterall. And I've been to Amsterdam a couple of times, but nah.... Too dangerous. Even though I keep my ship parked out here in the upper stratosphere, I do occasionally have to go back down to Earth where I live in an incarceration happy nation.

Would you smoke it if it were legal? Like some really sweet reefer.

I'd love to see marijuana legalized. Right now the war on drugs is a ridiculous waste of time, money and lives. In America it's still easier for kids to get pot than alcohol, and there's no telling what they're actually smoking.

But would you smoke it? The sweet, sweet weed.

There's a time in your early twenties when you experience as much as you possibly can. It was fun, but I'm a bit beyond that now. I drink coffee by the gallon and that's about it.

Yet, wouldn't it be nice if we had the option? Don't get me wrong, I love my country. I love the principles it was built on, especially life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But good intentions at the launch is no guarantee of safe sailing. America is a country that constantly needs to defend itself from itself.

But lets not talk about that now.

Honk! Snort. Zook? I'm sorry, you were saying something? I dozed off.

yyyzing-zing. yyyzing-zing.

We were talking about freedom and liberty.

Great! Love them both. I've fought many villians to bring both Freedom and Liberty to those who have none.

Great.

Are you gay?

Hmmm.

Hmmm.

GAHaaaaack!

(Reholsters laser blaster.)

I'll take that as a no.

I've got no problem with gay people. It's a free country, people should be able to love whoever and whatever they want. But even out in space, about as far from the Guggenheim as you can get, I'm still a dim distant satellite of the art world. To the non-art world this means you are either a comic book creatin' fan-boy or gay. So I make no qualms about being defiantly known as an openly-straight artist. I'm here. I'm not queer. And I can do more than paint a veneer. You're just going to have to get used to it.

So, what's with this Free Ebook you have tethered to the starboard side of your ship. Are you also a writer?

Actually, I'm more a writer than an artist (as if that doesn't show). I really started all of this off to get away from the writing I was doing, but separating the hemispheres of ones brain is harder than it sounds.

Lemme try. I'm good at that!
I have a chainsaw.....

NOoooooooooooo!

I meant figuratively. To a writer drawing is agonizingly slow. And as the hours tick by you just can't help but think up stories to surround the image at hand. I have often thought about trying my hand at a comic or graphic novel, but I'm just not quick enough with the Wacom.

Another thing is that graphic novels require print and print is expensive. Ebooks are cheap, and because they are cheap they're selling like hot cakes. If Amazon would just come out with a color Kindle, something which does a decent job of displaying images I might reconsider it.

I have a chainsaw.....

Didn't you once have a Wormy tribute page on this site. Something for the lost art of David Trampier.

Yes I did, and I was very happy with it. Then an old friend from high school, who is now a lawyer, told me in no uncertain terms that I was seriously tempting fate by doing so. And so I took it down.

NOoooooooooooo!

I have a chainsaw.....

Hate to interrupt, but I have to get these buffoons over to cut the ribbon on a new Circle K opening on the corner of Fifth and Main.

Alrightee then, thanks for stopping by. It was a fun chat.

HEY! When do I get to say something?

(Hits the bright red eject button, flinging Space Ghost and the rest along with an actual Giger inspired space alien that had been creeping through the shadows off into space.)

HEY! This is some really sweet weed!

Will you get off my ship! (hammers the eject button repeatedly)

yyyzing-zing. yyyzing-zing.

I have a chainsaw.....